Inspiration Has Finally Come, and It's Juicy!

I'm back! Back in Testosterhome for another crazy semester. Walking to class one day, I saw an actual gang patrolling our street...yes, an actual gang. They looked quite similar to this:  Living on the block is rough.  If you're going to survive it, you have to be in tip top shape. That is why Todd and myself are beginning a life change so that any of the following can occur:

1. We will gain the ability to outrun bullets
2. We will mutate and our skin will become bulletproof
3. We gain the strength to be able to bend a gun barrel towards the shooter.

Now how do we accomplish these goals exactly? One word: JUICER. That's right, we bought a juicer. I know I know, you're thinking, "Why in the world would anyone want to buy a juicer?" To juice things of course. I equate the first day with our new juicer to someone who gets addicted to crystal meth. We just couldn't get enough. The question we asked ourselves wasn't, "What can we juice?", but rather, "What can't we juice?" We started off simple enough. Oranges. Everyone loves orange juice. Well I'm gonna tell you that freshly squeezed orange juice is one of God's great gifts to man. From there we moved on to something a little more hardcore. Carrots. Gross right? In reality, it was like drinking a carrot. I don't really know why I was thinking that it would taste like anything else. Nevertheless, I love carrots, therefore I loved carrot juice. After carrots, we began to take some risks. We scoured the produce aisles, looking for anything that would be, "juicable." We acquired the following items to be juiced: a papaya, kiwi, celery, and a cucumber. 
The results were as follows:

• Papaya juice: DISGUSTING, it tasted like the after taste of vomit. After drinking that, I wanted to begin a worldwide purge to rid the planet of papaya and all papaya related flavors. DO NOT DRINK THIS JUICE!!! 

• Kiwi juice: Not too bad. Very very sour, works better as a compliment to another juice rather than being the main ingredient.
• Celery/Cucumber juice: EXCELLENT! If I were a cow and loved the taste of grass in juice form. Not nearly as bad as papaya juice, but still not pleasant.

The juicer was just phase one of our plans to "conquer the block." The juice feeds the machines (our bods) so that we can do phase two of our plan: workin out like guidos. Oh yes, this involves weight lifting, ab workouts, and rowing crew. Rowing crew?! You're thinking 2 things: 1) Guidos don't row crew, and 2) there is no body of water sufficient enough to be able to row crew in Lubbock, TX or all of West Texas for that matter. You are right on both thoughts. We diverge a bit from the guidos on this one, because we feel the Winklevoss twins (from the Social Network and actual people) were on to somethin by rowing crew. To recognize the second thought, Texas Tech has been gracious enough to provide indoor machines that simulate the rowing crew experience. This allows us to get a solid workout, as well as feel like we could be just as good as the Winklevoss twins at rowing crew, if only we were given the chance...

Well that concludes my first blog post in a while. Hopefully I can write a little more frequently this semester. Peace out nation. 







P.S. As the saying goes, "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em."