Testosterhome: 2007-2011 R.I.P.

September 6, 2011: The tenants of Testosterhome received a visit from good ole Neal Lloyd, our friendly neighborhood code enforcement officer. He informed us that our parking was "out of code" and asked how many people lived in the home. Naturally, we told him "4" (in our heads, we said "plus 4")..to which he responded that four people was also illegal.
September 13, 2011:We received our certified mail, telling us that we had 30 days to correct the housing issue or get evicted from the property. Since rent would be through the roof with only three people living in the Testosterhome, we decided to disband.
October 10, 2011: Myself and 3 other Testosterhomies have moved into a new home.

So that's pretty much all of the events that have transpired in the past month. It's very unfortunate that a legacy has to die because of one silly man working for one silly city. We weren't crazy party animals who incessantly tormented our neighbors (minus the rooster incident). We were just a bunch of Jesus loving, college students who wanted some cheaper rent. Since this will be my last blog on "Life on the Block," I've decided to go out with a bang and compile a eulogy of sorts, complete with every single member, past and present as well as a brief description of where they are now.

The Testosterhome was founded in 2007 by Zachary Ormsby, Chris Vaughn, Matthew Townsend and Brad Lord. Little did they know the legacy that they would create. From 2007-2011, 21 people resided in the Testosterhome. These are their stories.

Zach Ormsby: June 2007- September 2009. Lives in Houston, TX and is an engineer for Cooper Cameron Corporation.









Chris Vaughn: Unknown
                                      Matthew Townsend: Unknown
                                      Brad Lord: Unknown

Alex Linney: June 2008-May 2010. Livin' the life in Denver, CO

Stephen Campbell: June 2008-May 2010. Just got married to Beth Niles. He is currently in seminary in Wyoming.

Heath Posey: June 2008-May 2009. He is married to Lacy Konieczka and lives in Denver, CO. He is an engineer for EOG Resources. (P.S. I've totally been right where you're standing Heath.)

Aaron Farris: June 2008-May 2009. Married to Julia and works for Energy Land Resources in Crockett, TX

Wally Dunn: June 2008-May 2009. Married to Micah Dunn. Wally, I'm not quite sure what you've been up to lately...

Kyle Davison: January 2008-May 2008. He is currently attending seminary in Dallas, Texas

Cameron Nault: August 2009-December 2009. He is currently doing a strength and conditioning internship with USC.















Tyler: August 2009-May 2010. D-bag stole my awesome
                                                              change jar.

Daniel Knox: June 2009-September 2011. Studying Mechanical Engineering here at Texas Tech.

Myself: June 2009-September 2011. You know what I do.

Luke Williams: June 2009-May 2010. Studying Civil Engineering at Texas Tech.

Isaac Brooks: June 2010-September 2011. Studying Architecture here at Texas Tech.

Todd Wedel: June 2010-September 2011. Studying RHIM here at Tech. By the way, this is a picture of him in the 5th grade. He is the rather large one.

Stuart Gill: June 2010-September 2011. Studying English here at Texas Tech.

Matt Langhoff: June 2010-September 2011. Studying University Studies here at Texas Tech.

Weston Cerda: June 2011-September 2011. Studying Mechanical Engineering at Texas Tech.

Jeremy Burke: June 2011-September 2011. Studying Nursing at Texas Tech.












As you can see, we are just a bunch of adventure loving, humble, Christ-centered kids looking for some cheap rent. Thanks Neal Lloyd for destroying the icon that is the Testosterhome. The legend will never die. I am going to need a new name for this blog so comment your suggestions for names. Peace out.

P.S. Here's Neal Lloyd. What a mean man.

In Honor of the Midsummer Classic

Tonight, as the MLB All Star game is being played to cap off the first half of the baseball season. Congrats to my boys Brian McCann, Johnny Venters, and Craig Kimbrel for making the team. I've been reminiscing the good things and the bad things of the first half of my summer. Let's take a look shall we?

We'll start with the good things:

1) Russia! - Naturally, this would be my #1 good thing of the first half. I had the incredible opportunity of getting to spend four weeks in Moscow, Russia on a summer project through Campus Crusade for Christ. It was a once in a lifetime opportunity. Brief highlights: metro rides, interesting food, sharing the gospel, the banya, flaming football matches. I don't regret embarking on this journey in the least bit. 

2) The Atlanta Braves- The Atlanta Braves own the 2nd best record in baseball right now and will only get better in the 2nd half. Tomahawk chop!

3) Road trip to the Metroplex- 'nuff said.

4) T&T Dr. Peppers - Oh how I've missed these divine delicacies.

5) Mineral Deeds - To most, this means nothing. To me, this means everything. Mineral deeds are the simplest of documents to record at my job and any time one pops up, it brings a smile to my face.

Now that we've covered the good things, let's observe some of the bad things from the first half of this summer.

1) Transition from Russia back to America - This has been a fairly difficult adjustment to make. The most challenging being the fact that I spent four weeks where the temperature was in the 70s to going home where the temperatures have been hovering around 110.

2) The Philadelphia Phillies - Despite the Atlanta Braves having the 2nd best record in baseball, the Phillies have the best record. Unfortunately for the Braves, the Phillies are in the same division. Thus, the Braves are in 2nd place.

3) 335 miles - Not a pleasant distance to cover.

4) Mortgages - The bizarro mineral deed if you will (Superman reference). This vile instrument is always a pain to record at my job and I do not enjoy them in the least bit.

There ya have it. A recap of the first half of my summer. Here's to hoping the second half is as good as the first.

P.S. Prepare to have your mind blown with this:

My Experience with a Russian Soccer Game, erm..Football Match

Hello again!

I am keeping my word. Here's another blog. I would like to share my experience with my first Russian football match. If I had one word to describe this whole experience, I would choose the word "chaos." From the time we boarded the metro to the time we arrived at our destination, we saw at least 100 policemen and greeted to the chant of, "Spartak!" followed by three distinct claps. From there it felt like sheer pandemonium. There were people EVERYWHERE! Everyone was dressed in red because the two clubs playing that night both wore that as their primary color. The match that we went to watch was Spartak vs. Locomotiv.

After waiting in "line" for a while and successfully making through three security pat downs and bag checks, we made it into the stadium. Since we didn't really have any affiliation to either team, our game plan was to cheer for whoever's section we were in. There was one problem..our seats were located right in the middle of the two sides. I had a gut feeling about Spartak so I decided to cheer for them.


The match started off normal enough. There were fireworks, a national anthem (Russian, of course), and the introduction of both teams. The match was fairly slow for much of the first half until Spartak struck with two goals towards the end of the first half. That proved to be enough for the victory. You're thinking, "Great..he told us the ending. Story's over." Wrong! The second half is where all the fun started.

Shortly after the second half began, we all started noticing very bright flares being lit on the Spartak side of the field. All of the sudden, these flares were being thrown onto the field. This is where the term "chaos" comes into play. Men dressed in firefighter garb began running to and fro, trying to stamp out the flares before fires began. The following pictures show the scene:

Yes, that is a chair on fire. One of the many that we saw during this time. So anyway, as you can see, things weren't really controlled..on the inside. The entire walk from the stadium to the metro station (about a mile or so), the sidewalk was lined with riot police. At least several hundred of these men in full gear made sure that no "Green Street Hooligans" fights broke out. Needless to say, it was one amazing experience. Everyone should go to at least one match. That's all I have for now. Peace out.

Freedom, Liberty, and Blogging

What's more patriotic than patriotic Pop-Tarts?

July 4, 2011, a date which will live in infamy. My fellow Americans, I have engaged in a war..a war for freedom..a war for justice..a war for liberty. There is a blogger out there whose name will not be mentioned. She uses pictures, videos, and a silly voice. Since I believe in the idea of literacy in America, I use words. Worse, this blogger is from Hodessa! If I lose this war, I must concede my truck to this girl for five minutes as she drives it around a parking lot. Please do not let my poor Sandy fall under the tyrannical reign of this dictator. As incentives, I shall be posting a blog every day this week. This is just another benefit of living in the great U.S. of A. Here is how we achieve victory: tell all your friends about this blog, read this blog every day, comment on this blog to boost my confidence, and pray, for we are a God fearing people. The goal is to get as many views as possible. You can help make this happen! As you take a break from eating your ribs, brats, or any other type of bbq you may or may not be having this 4th of July, take time to read this blog. Do your duty as an American. A great man once said, "Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country!" I appreciate each and every one of you. Until tomorrow, GOD BLESS AMERICA! and this blog... LET INDEPENDENCE WEEK BEGIN!!

The most inspirational speech you will ever hear (The Hodessa blogger is the embodiment of the Soviets)

Klassnaya Popka?

I'm back! I'm sorry that I have taken so long to write a new post. I have heard stories of a few followers that have developed anxiety disorders as a result of this absence, and for that I sincerely apologize. For those who don't know, I am currently in the Motherland. For those of you who are not very intelligent, I am in Moscow, Russia, not the land of mothers. I have been here for almost a week now and will remain here for another three weeks. Some of you faithful who know that I have a Russia only blog may be a little confused by this post. To that, I respond by saying that this blog post is not necessarily spiritual, merely to entertain. Anywho, after a week of being here, I have noticed several things about Russian culture that are worth blogging about. Enjoy.

1) Russians do not wear deodorant - I do not know why, but this is just not a necessity in the life of a Russian. There's nothing more enjoyable than being crammed into a metro car (or cattle car as I would phrase it) with several incredibly sweaty B.O. smelling Russian men. I would question why these Russian men are so sweaty at 10 in the morning, but the fact that I have not stopped sweating since I arrived in Moscow has answered that for me.

2) Russians have an unhealthy obsession with ice cream and McDonalds - This is quite the phenomenon. There is not a restaurant/food vendor in Moscow that does not have ice cream available for purchase. I love this city specifically for that reason. As for McDonalds, I clearly do not understand why the great people of Russia love it so much, but the long lines there all day long ring true for me. Maybe it's because you will not go a day without walking at least five miles in this city and you can afford the extra calories as a result.

3) Speed limits and other traffic signs are optional - I am fairly optimistic that by the  trip I will have gotten hit by a car. A word of advice for any prospective Moscow travellers: while crossing the street, DO NOT look drivers in the eye. Instead, simply look straight ahead and pray fervently. I am 4 for 5 in this regard.

4) The Metro may be the closest thing to anarchy that I will ever experience - It is nuts! People are pushing, shoving, throwing babies out of the way. The only calm place in the metro is the escalator and even that is a hassle to get to. Not to mention trying to read which stop you need to go to, in Russian, on the complex map.

5) Russians like EXCESSIVE PDA - Making out..everywhere..on the metro, park bench, escalator, middle of a crosswalk, Mcdonalds..think of a place and two Russians have probably macked there, or worse...

6) I have ordered two food things that I haven't the slightest clue what they were, but they were extremely delicious.

That's all I have for now. Hopefully I can live to tell the tale of more of my adventures later. Peace out.

Here Ya Go, Ya Brats

I have never met someone who has wanted to be merely mentioned in my blog. The trouble they have gone through to bribe me into doing so has finally paid off. Ladies and Gentlemen, may I introduce you to Megan Cotter and Lindsay Hedlund. I'm going to go in alphabetical order..

She doesn't really look like this, but I found it amusing

Megan Cotter: Megan Megan Megan. What can I say about her other than she simply goes by Cotter, Cot, or Funky Cheese. The first thing I remember about Megan was, "Dang, that girl has some blue eyes." I don't really remember how I first met her...oops. The only thing that matters is that I met her right? She's been an awesome friend throughout my life in college. I take pride in the fact that I took her to CRU spring banquet my freshman year when she was a senior. And who can forget the Bible Study mixers set up by the one and only Brett Marcos and Millie Bratcher. And then there was the time that I spent the night in her sister's bed..creeped out yet? Don't worry, the sister wasn't there. I know that Cotter does not like to try new foods. When she's convinced that she doesn't like something (even when she's never tried it before), she's quite adamant about never ever having it..ever. Cotter also LOVES it when you touch her neck. The next time you see her, do that and she will be your best friend. Weirdness aside, she's still super cool.

Lindsay Marie Hedlund. My first vivid memory of this girl was when we were at one of those aforementioned mixers and I thought to myself, "That girl the weirdest and loudest girl alive." So yes, Lindsay, I noticed you, but it probably wasn't the light you wanted to be seen in..or maybe it was, being you..Lindsay LOVES attention. Some of the things she does to get that attention just blows my mind, but makes me laugh hysterically all the same, (ex: emotion: sad, hummmpph..just a little inside joke for us peeps). I didn't become friends with her until my sophomore year, but it's been a good friendship, full of bickering about whom Millie loves more (obviously me) and crazy shenanigans around the Hub City. Lindsay LOVES to be hugged. The next time you see her, just give her a big bear hug for a solid 10 seconds. She will immediately become your best friend as a result. I have also slept in Lindsay's bed, weird I know...don't worry, she was not sleeping next to me. She's fun to make fun of, but beware, she can dish it out just as well. Just looking at these pictures will show you the essence of Lindsay Hedlund in all of her glory.

Bottom line..these girls are awesome, but better yet, THEY ARE MY GOOD LUCK CHARM! Fo real, my batting average in softball improves drastically when they are in attendance, rather than when they are not. That's really the only reason I keep them around...Ok maybe not..maybe they're truly amazing friends who I could never replace. There ya go, there's your blog, hope you enjoy it.

Blogging On the Road!

Even though I’m posting this now, this blog post was made on the move.  Let me tell ya right now, I used to think New Mexico had the worst roads in the world, but I stand corrected. Oklahoma has supplanted New Mexico as king of the worst roads. Going through Oklahoma City alone is like being on a wooden roller coaster ride from hell. Just a hazard of blogging on the road I suppose. Mexico is 3 weeks away and Brent’s Beach Bod Extravaganza is still going strong. I’ve lost 7 pounds and I’m starting to develop some killer obliques (If you don’t know what those are, look them up, they’re awesome). Starting tomorrow, I’m implementing the Insanity workout into my regimen. Am I insane? (The answer to that is a resounding heck yeah.). However, I’ve decided that if it came down to having a 6-pack or drinking Dr. Pepper, I would choose Dr. Pepper. I will never be able to give it up. It is the blood in my veins.

I recently turned 21…Ohhhhh yeah PARTY TIME!!!!!!!!!! Or not… I’ve  had a total of 7 drinks since I’ve turned 21 and that was in the first 3 days after my birthday. I guess I keep forgetting I’m 21, but that’s probably a good thing, especially when I’m working towards my beach bod. Today, however, I bought some beer for my friend’s parents as a gift of thankfulness. It was around noon and judgmental eyes were meeting me everywhere I went. Seriously? In Arkansas? C’mon, they condone cousins getting married, but everyone’s up in arms the moment I buy two cases of Busch at noon…It’s time to get your priorities straight Arkansas (sorry for doggin on your state Kaylie and Heather, but this had to be addressed). 

I have an observation I made earlier last week for those that follow my twitter. For those that don’t follow me on twitter, follow me. For now, I’ll share this observation with you this one time. Walking to class one brisk morning, I counted 6, yes 6 girls wearing leggings as pants. ABSURD!!! Women, leggings are not pants. This brings me back to a memory of a Seinfeld episode where Elaine gives her friend a bra as a gift and she ends up wearing it solely as a top. It’s just not right people. You are causing men to stumble wherever you go. If this doesn’t stop, you will have forced my hand. I will wear my compression shorts as shorts in public to make a point. Don’t tempt me, you know I’ll do it. No one, I repeat, NO ONE, wants to see me do this, so do everyone a favor and cover up ladies.

Next item on my agenda,  let me tell you a little about the TARP (Troubled Asset Relief Program) Initiative: Implemented in October 2008, this $787 billion program served as an attempt to boost our struggling economy..I’m just kidding, I’m not going to talk to you about that, even though I know you’re extremely interested in it. It’s much better for me to tell you about it in person so ask me about it sometime.

So  let’s recap what you’ve learned here today: Oklahoma roads suck, my body is becoming chiseled like I was sculpted by Michelangelo himself, the entire state of Arkansas is extremely judgmental if you buy a large amount of alcohol early in the day, women need not wear leggings as pants anymore, lest they subject everyone to the horrid sight of me wearing compression shorts as shorts,  and a brief overview of the TARP Program. I hope you have enjoyed yet another edition of my blog. Until next time..Adios

P.S. This video has brought hours of laughter to me. I hope it does the same for you. Who doesn’t love dancing pandas?